Contact arrangements in the Netherlands: setting one up, recording it, changing it
A contact arrangement — omgangsregeling in Dutch — sets out when your child is with which parent. The name comes from the right it gives shape to: the right of a child and a parent to contact with each other, also once they no longer share a home. This page covers what belongs in one, what is usual at each age, how to record it so it holds, and what to do when it stops fitting.
Contact arrangement or care arrangement?
The two Dutch terms get used interchangeably but are not the same. A zorgregeling (care arrangement) divides day-to-day care between two parents who both hold parental authority. An omgangsregeling (contact arrangement) governs contact between the child and the parent they do not live with. In practice both sit in the same parenting plan and answer the same question: which days, with whom.
What belongs in it
An arrangement that holds up answers six questions without anyone having to negotiate:
- The fixed pattern. Which days and nights, in which cycle, from what time.
- Handovers. Who collects and drops off, where, and what happens if someone is late.
- School holidays. How the weeks are divided, and who picks first in which year.
- Public holidays and birthdays. Christmas, Sinterklaas, the child’s birthday, and your own.
- Contact in between. Calls and video calls: when yes, when not.
- Deviating from it. How to swap a day, and how far in advance to ask.
The first four cause nearly every later argument. Put them in writing, even when you are separating on good terms.
What is usual at each age
No arrangement is prescribed by Dutch law. What works depends on the child’s age, the distance between homes and your working hours. Broadly:
| Age | What usually works | Why |
|---|---|---|
| 0–1 | Short, frequent contact; overnight stays once the child is ready | A baby needs rhythm and predictability, not long separations from the main carer |
| 1–4 | Two or three fixed parts of the week, building to full days and single nights | Toddlers cannot yet picture a week; repetition makes it predictable |
| 4–8 | A weekend plus one fixed midweek day, or a 2-2-3 rhythm | School provides structure and longer blocks become workable |
| 8–12 | Week on, week off or 2-2-5-5, with a fixed handover day | Fewer switches, more overview, less shuttling of belongings |
| 12+ | A looser pattern with the child having a say | Friends, sport and part-time jobs weigh in; rigidity backfires |
Each stage is covered in more detail: babies, toddlers and preschoolers, primary school and teenagers.
Common patterns
How to record it
If you are divorcing or ending a registered partnership with minor children, a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) is compulsory in the Netherlands and the contact arrangement belongs in it. If you were not married, the plan is not compulsory — but the advice is the same: write it down. An arrangement that exists only in two heads is the one you will argue about in two years.
Three routes, from light to formal:
- Written between you. You set out the pattern and both sign it. Largely free in form, and workable while you agree.
- In a parenting plan. Often via a mediator. In a divorce, this plan goes to the court.
- Determined by the court. If you cannot agree, the court sets an arrangement. That one binds.
A recorded arrangement still has to be lived. A shared calendar in which you both see the same days removes most of the arguing about what was agreed.
When it no longer fits
Children grow up, people move, rosters change. A contact arrangement is not a permanent contract — it is allowed to move with you. How that works, by agreement or through the court, is on changing a contact arrangement.
When the other parent does not stick to it
If the arrangement is structurally not honoured, there are steps, from a conversation to a court application. That gets covered in depth in phase 2 of this content series.
This is not legal advice
CoParIzi helps you build and maintain the schedule. For your legal position in a specific case, speak to a mediator or a lawyer, or start at Het Juridisch Loket and rijksoverheid.nl.
Still have questions?
Is a contact arrangement compulsory?
In a Dutch divorce with minor children, a parenting plan is compulsory and the arrangement sits inside it. Even without that obligation, recording it is the sensible move.
At what age can a child choose?
There is no age at which a child decides. From 12, a child is heard by the court, and in practice a teenager’s view carries real weight.
Can contact be refused?
Only in exceptional cases, for instance where contact conflicts with weighty interests of the child. That judgement belongs to the court, not to a parent.
How much contact is normal?
There is no norm. Everything from every other weekend to week on, week off occurs. What fits depends on age, distance and work — count what your division adds up to in days.
Start today with a clear co-parenting schedule
Invite the other parent and set up your schedule in a few minutes. Free for 21 days.